My Awesome Night

That's me..... on the right in the boots. 

Ok, so that's not really me and the ghost of Michael Jackson, but I decided to do something for myself today.  I keep saying that I have to be healthy before I can help my family.

I signed up for a gym that offers every sort of dance class from Zumba, Boot Camp, Yoga, Pilates, Hip Hop, and everything in between.

Tonight was Hip Hop and I learned the true blue Thriller dance.  I must say I was the shiz-nit.  I haven't had this much fun in months and the release that came from dancing was more theraputic than any anti-psychotic meds that are on the market. 

I think tomorrow will be Zumba.....  Wednesday is Kick Boxing.  It is great to find a positive release for all this pent up energy. 

Anyway, this may be a new career move for me........ I think they are missing a key player in the Thriller video now......  This just might be my big break :)

It's good to smile again.

Today's Oxy-moron.

Yes, I am one of those people now.  I heart stabalization meds.  I mean I really REALLY heart the meds i am taking.  And no, I am not talking about Midol or Pamprin.  Thanks to an intuitive mother who INSISTED that I see a crisis doctor immediately, I am on some very very heavy duty anti-anxiety meds.  The big league.  I have spent my life protesting medicating people.  Guess I'll just chalk this one up to eating more "I will never......" words.  My mouth has become quite full of those bold naieve claims from early in my innocent life.  (Ok, so we all know I didn't have an "innocent" live, but that is neither here nor there)

I guess this makes me a hypocrite considering that it was drugs that started this whole downward spiral. And if I hate anything with all my heart and soul right now, it would be drugs.   Not sure if it make a difference that my drugs are legal and for stabilization while his were illegal and used as an escape from reality.  Either way, if these meds I am on take away the burning desire to smash dishes through the window, scrub the sewer with his toothbrush, or slash the tires on his car, then I will wear the scarlet letter H on my forehead with pride.  And they do.  I guess Mom still knows best and has the final say even when you are 31 years old.

So here is my confession.....  Hi, my name is Jenn.  I am a hypocrite, but at least I am a stabilized   hypocrite and I am not typing this using my nose while being restrained in a straight jacket at UNI.


Thank you god that I am not typing this from the coockoo house.

Today

Today I did a good thing.  And I feel happy about it.