Miracles

God Bless Miracles...... you know who you are..........

Ha Ha Life!!!

I made 3 separate "play dates" today with 3 sets of people that I haven't seen in some time. They are some of my favorite people in this world, so I was looking forward to our play dates.

As luck would have it at this phase in my life, the phone I have been using got dropped while I was raking leaves and broke. Hahahahahaha. Not too big of a deal because I have been using our alternate number to block JJ's calls and avoid seeing or sending any hurtful text messages. Well, it has been 3 weeks now and I should be able to go back to my original phone and control myself, right?

The phone is in Heber being babysat by Grandma and Grandpa right now so I thought I would take a nice sunday drive up to retrieve my lonely abandoned phone. I grabbed my purse and checked my wallet for my bank card knowing I would need to get gas..........No Card.

Thank you Sasha.. I am sure she has hidden it somewhere as this is one of her favorite 'tricks' to play on Mommy. Although since she is with J, I can't ask her to show me where it is this time.

So..... no card.....no gas.....no trip to heber.....no phone.....no playdates :(

Sarah, Robb, Melissa and Natalie........ come to me baby. I can't even call or communicate with any of you to let you know what's going on.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

For some reason, this is absolutely hilarious to me and I am laughing out loud as I type this. Sorry guys. Obviously my sense of humor has found it's way back home. I hope none of you get your feelings hurt too bad when I don't answer any of your calls or texts. LMAO.

If you do happen to read this, or anyone else for that matter.......come on over.  I'm cooking a yummy roast for dinner and obviously won't be going anywhere.  

P.S.  God totally has a sense of humor.    

Goals........

I am mad I sold my guitar..... I am going to buy a new one tomorrow.....

Apologize????

I know it's old, but so fits my life...... (plus, I'm old)

Tiffany my angel

Today was a good day..... and it started out with a jolting phone call from Tiff when I had planned to sleep the day away in despair.

The conversation went something like this:

Tiff: "Get up"
Me: "I'm sleeping"
Tiff; "I've had an epiphiny from Tiffany
Me: "Are you drunk"
Tiff: "No.... you have refused to label JJ as your boyfriend all summer. You have told us all that you are not in a "relationship" with him, when we all could see that you were.... why do you think that is......"
Me: "????????"
Tiff: "Because you KNEW this was coming..... you KNEW he was going to screw it up, so stop feeling sorry for yourself...get out of bed, and you have a hip hop class to be to in 1 hour.
Me: "I haven't had coffee yet, you better slow yourself down girlfriend...."
Tiff: "You better go make yourself some coffee and get your ass to hip hop"


Have i ever told you how much I love this girl????

She is my soul sista!!!! You are my angel TIff!!!!

My Girl

So, it's JJ's weekend with Sasha, which means I won't see her until Tuesday due to the way our days/weekends worked last year.  We haven't kept track of days or weekends for close to 8 months because most days we spent as a family, the 4 of us.

It is only 7PM and I am sick.  I miss my girl so bad, which in turn makes me miss the life I had become so accustomed to over the summer and had fallen very much in love with.

I just got back from the gym hoping it would be the distraction/release of anxiety needed to get me through the night.  However, it's not looking good considering we have not even been home an hour and as I write this, tears are rolling down my cheeks.

I don't feel strong enough for this.  Not today.  I keep trying to chalk it up to a bad day, but in reality i know it is because I have begun mourning the death of a marriage of hearts.  I am lost.... and starting to think that this is going to break me.

Please send positive energy.........my broken heart is loosing the will to keep beating and every breath I take reminds me that I am still alive, but in an alternate universe.  Today is the hardest day to date.

Breathe....

Morning Texts

I miss waking up to text messages in the morning.  :(

Waiting for the rain

I can't wait until it rains again....  I am dying to dance in the rain.

.

(and no, for those of you who are wondering, this is not a picture of me.... it is just a picture I absolutely love because it represents freedom and naked cleansing of the soul...... isn't it beautiful!)

Today I have had a flood of emotions.  Not prepared for any of them, but I'm starting to think that my present life consists of blindsided emotional moments.... "tests" so to speak.  I am wearing them the best I can and making the most of each opportunity as it comes into my life.  Although I am feeling week today, overall I feel stronger every day.

However, I need to thank a special someone for making yesterday unexpectedly fantastic.  You were just the medicine I needed.  Good Friends are Gold.  I love all of you.  Especially the ones that read in the shower.  :) 

The Butterflies are Born

A couple weeks ago, Zehn's teacher sent home 2 live caterpillars that if we cared for properly were supposed to turn into butterflies.  I was skeptical and frankly was not too happy that his teacher sent these home for me to be in charge of (yes, I know I am a grinch).  Anyway, much to our surprise.  They did exactly what they were supposed to do.

I was home alone when the first one was born.  I almost had a heart attack and called my mom at work for help.  Luckily she had a school teacher standing right there when I called who has done the butterfly experiment in her classroom.  My mom handed over the phone and she walked me through what to do....  which turned out to be absolutely nothing.  HAHAHAHa.  (except I did poke the butterfly with a pen to see if it was alive). 

Anyway, they both hatched and the kids were so excited.  Me, not so much because now I had to find a way to keep them alive.......................Well,

I failed....................

The butterflies didn't make it.   Zehn wants to keep one for a souviner.   I told him we could have a funeral in the yard.  These butterflies were doomed from the beginning anyway..... what teacher hatches butterflies in November anyway?????

 We are 0 for 2 right now.  The butterflies kicked the bucket and the jumping beans jumped away.  Z's teacher and I will be fighting if she sends home any more live experiments.